My response to an email I got from Mr. Axlerod at the White House urging me to support health care reform.

So you want puffers, drug addicts, alcoholics, knife fighters, fornicators, Jabba the Hut's with insatiable appetites for sugar and sodium to take money from the people who do not do the aforementioned so they can continue to be puffers, drug addicts, gun shooters, AID's inflicter's, alcoholics, knife fighters, fornicators, Jabba the Hut's with insatiable appetites for sugar and sodium?

Thanks a lot. That gives me a great deal of incentive not to be a puffer, drug addict, alcoholic, knife fighter, gun shooter, gang banger, fornicator, AID's inflicter and a Jabba the Hut with an insatiable appetite to consume vast quantities of sugar and sodium. Thank you very much.

To the tune Back in the USSR

It passed! It passed! Shout hip hooray!

We got our way!

Let’s hear it for the House.

The puffers, boozers, gorgers they now sing and shout.

Tea Party folks they’re down and out.

We’re back in the USSR!

We’ve really gone far boy!

Just like the USSR.

Joy Oh Joy it’s time to grab some Dairy Queen.

And a pack of Camel’s too!

Down the drugs, go on gang bangs and drink some hootch.

Holy crap we are so screwed.

Just like in the USSR.

Suck down all that tar boy!

Just like in the USSR.

Refrain:

All the morbidly obese

they’ll slurp ice cream all day.

When they get sick they will look your way,

And demand that you pay pay pay pay pay pay!

Horray!

Gays will now screw without a condom on!

Free treatments for their HIV!

Fu*k bunnies won’t need crack heads with their mojos on!

Abortions free let’s have some fun.

We’re back in the USSR!

How lucky we are JOY!

The new USSR!

Comments from "the underground".

Oh boy, now we're just like the Europeans.

Khruschev was right, we will be living under the banner of Lenin.

Great, now I can light up and when I get sick, the folks making over $200,000 will pay for it.

I hope gang bangers will do the job right the first time and kill their victims so the Leninized health system won't take a hit.

I hear DQ and Dunkin Donuts is celebrating their ass off with this vote.

And the Bubbah's who slurp down the Budweiser, they are doing a conga-line now!

How about the Tiger Woods of the world! Those STD's will be paid for by those who know what the word fidelity means.

So, when three surgeon generals tell us that 86% of or health afflictions are self afflicted the House says "Ok, and your point is."

To the tune Hi Ho!

Oh Joy! Oh boy!

It's like a Christmas Toy!

Eat and smoke and drink all day!

HORAY!

As the good people pay.